Day 29 - There's Always A Way Out...

Today is the first day of my police training, in case you are wondering what my show has to do with me joining the police force, it’s a long story… You can start from this post here, or if you’re new to this blog, read from the bottom up! Anyway, first day of police training, I sat down in the classroom and got the schedule for the week. It is then I found out that I have to sit through a six-hour lecture everyday for the next two weeks!! I then realized I don’t have the time as I have rehearsals for our show every day in the evening for the next two weeks! I have to somehow back out of being a police without creating a big hoo-haa. Or a big hoo-hoo-haaa-haa-bwahahahaha… I excused myself to the toilet while thinking of a way out this long lecture. While in the toilet, I realized that there is an opened window in the toilet that leads out of the fence, if only they hadn’t ran out of toilet paper, I would have something to break the fall. Anyway I climbed out the window and took the leap. I fell down and injured my leg. I now walk with a limp. But luckily I managed to get a cab and got to rehearsal on time. I hope my leg recovers soon! I will explain to the guys at the police academy tomorrow… or the day after, or next week. Whatever!

Day 28 - Buy Tickets Or I'll Shoot You!

Today is the first day of my police enrollment. They have some funny exercises that we have to go through before we qualify to be in the training. The exercises involved looking at a poster full of different sizes alphabets one eye at a time, exercises that test your courage like draining some blood from your arm etc. And some other exercises which involved peeing in a cup. Once completed, they have a strange ritual that everybody must perform before being allowed into the training. The ritual involves dropping your pants and coughing. I have no idea what the ritual signifies but I did it anyway. I’m just glad I don’t have to bend over. Anyway I’m now in the force, and now have greater power in forcing you to buy tickets! Remember my “If you don’t buy tickets, I’ll beat you” strategy? I’ll be changing it to “If you don’t buy tickets, I’ll shoot you!” strategy! So buy tickets now or I’ll shoot you when I get my gun! You can get tickets at all post offices or SAM Machines island-wide, or choose your seats from GateCrash’s Website here!

Day 27 - Just Judee!

Today was a frustrating day, my MacBook had some problem and couldn’t start. Many of my important documents are inside, including my production documents, scripts, promotional materials, music etc. And I could not go on with my show until I have access to it. Luckily I happened to meet my friend Judy Tan today and she offered to help me with my problem. I passed her my MacBook and she managed to get it working again within half a day. I was so thankful until I found out that she had kept some of my personal pictures from my “personal collection”. She had promised not to release them only if I help her promote her upcoming show in my blog… Of course, being a manly real man, I will not give in to this kind of threat. But then again, Judy is such a nice person, so pretty, so talented, so kind, so helpful, so great… She is one of the best theater actress/singer in the whole wide world!! And her show is going to be soooooo good! It’s called “JUST Judee” which I thought sounded like the name of another production I came across recently, but I can’t recall which. Anyway, other than coming to my show “JUST Kiki Kidding!” do also and check out her show “JUST Judee!” Because she is such a nice person, so talented, so pretty so… blah blah blah… you get the idea! She doesn’t look like herself in this picture. Someone drew a moustache to it... I don’t know who drew it but it is definitely not me… Really, Judy! It’s not me!!… I didn’t draw the moustache in poster! Please please do not release my erm… personal pictures!! Click on her poster to find out more (And to see the real her!!)

Day 26 - All Out For The Extra Income!

Today I got out of the detention center with no charges as they found the reason of me climbing up the ERP Gantry to be rather amusing. I thanked the Policemen/NPCC (I can’t tell the difference)and offered them free tickets to my show. Anyway, I asked them how I can find out more about the ERP Gantry without breaking the law, they jokingly(or not) said “Join the POLICE!” I thought about it for a while and decided to go for it. After all, it has been one of my dreams to be a policeman! I also wanted to be a sexy nurse but I won’t go into detail. Anyway, I’ve enrolled myself into the police force and I will tell you more about it tomorrow… or the day after, or next week. Whatever!

Day 25 - Extra Income part 2

Today I went to research on the ERP system for my production in June. I climbed up one of the ERP gantry and made an interesting discovery! I discovered that if I turn the ERP sensor around, cars that goes through the gantry will have money added into their CashCard instead of being deducted! I’ll share with you more about it when I’m out of the detention center. Yes, I know nowadays you can get internet access easily anywhere in Singapore, including detention centers, thus making plans are relatively easy. I will be making a trip to the toilet soon, I will update you on my progress tomorrow, or the day after… or next week. In the meantime, do buy tickets to my show if you haven't done so!! "Just Kiki Kidding!" 29th June (Sunday) 3pm or 8pm @ Jubilee Hall, Raffles Hotel. Guaranteed satisfaction otherwise your money back! I am serious! If I’m not entirely satisfied with your money, I WILL give you back! So there’s NO RISK! Grab your tickets now!!

Day 24 - Extra Income!

Today I met up with my dear friend Daniel Tang from GateCrash. Daniel is an incredibly talented IT guy who develops multi-million-dollar software systems. He is also currently involved in some software research in NUS and he is going to be Dr. Daniel Tang after his made his contributions to the research. Great! I have this itch in my pants that wouldn’t go away, once he becomes Dr. Tang, I can get free consultation from him! Anyway, the reason I’ve met up with him is that I was hoping to get his help in developing this ERP idea that I had to reduce traffic flow to the toilet during intermission. My objective is like the government, it's PURELY to reduce traffic flow, not to make money… really. Anyway, the idea was to develop a “walk-in” ERP system that deducts money from the EZ-Link card rather than an IU, as I had spent some time to survey over 100 people to find out that most Singapore don’t carry their IU with them when they leave their vehicle. Anyway, Daniel told me that he will need information on the existing ERP gantry in order to develop our own, so somehow I have to figure out how it works. I’ll work on it tomorrow and will keep you guys updated on my progress! In the meantime, if you haven't get tickets for "Just Kiki Kidding!" do so now! Tickets are going fast!! Find out more here or choose your seats here! Also, do remember to top up your EZ-Link card before coming to the show...

Day 23 - 2 Million Dollar Sponsorship!!

Today I met up with my dear friends Harry & Jane from EVO Communications. They are nice sincere people who had been helping me a lot in my career. I’ve approached Harry with a plead for sponsorship for my show. At first he didn’t seem interested in giving me free money, but when I told him that I am going to make an F16 appear in my show, he was more interested than ever! Finally I shared a great secret with him on how to make money using the ERP system and Taxi meter, he made an offer to sponsor me in my production! Yeah!! I’ve added his company EVO Communications to our sponsor list and billed him $2,000,000. He is going to pay me in 10,000 easy payment of $200/year. He had also given me an idea to increase my income for the show. I am going to add an ERP Gantry to the door of the theater to reduce the amount of traffic flow to the washroom during intermission. We are now working on how to develop a system whereby we make deductions on an individual’s EZ-link card instead of needing an IU. I’ve also somehow promised Harry that I’m going to make an F16 Appear. Now I stuck with the problem of how to actually do it… hmmm… Maybe i should consult the Guru of Magic... Or maybe...

Day 22 - Miss Molena Afalangie!

As you know, I haven’t put up a blog entry for days and I have an excellent explanation for it; laziness. I find the need to start updating blog entries again because of some "write your blog or i beat you!" threats. Actually we had been working hard at rehearsals, just that nothing funny had happened as we are a bunch of serious, no-nonsense people who doesn’t joke around. Anyway, today we had our rehearsal in Mrs. Naidu’s house again, Mrs Naidu was not around as I heard she went for some pilgrimage in India. We had a visitor that came to our rehearsal. Miss Molena Afalangie. She is my distant relative. She stays in Tampinese and I stay in Clementi (Quite a distant) Anyway, she is my mom’s sister’s brother’s mom’s daughter (My Aunt). Miss Molena Afalangie is quite an entertainer herself as I heard from my mom that she won some performing competition and is some celebrity in some TV station. She had been living in Hong Kong for many years but came to reside in Singapore. My mom forced me to bring her around but I am busy with rehearsal so I got her to join me instead, after my rehearsal maybe I’ll bring her to see some of Singapore’s most famous monument like the Merlion and the ERP Gantries. Anyway, she’s got quite an adventure to share with us and I will tell you about it tomorrow... or maybe the day after. Or maybe next week. Sometimes I tend to procrastinate a bit. I’ll tell you about my procastination problems tomorrow… or the day after. Or maybe next week...

Day 21 - Secrets of Magical Wealth!

Today, I spent some time with the Guru of Magic, Mr. Francis Ang! He agreed to come to my house today to work with me on my show, when he pulled up at my driveway, I was surprised to find out that he drives a Porsche! When he got out of his car, he places a big cloth over his car and made it vanish! I was shocked! What a cool way to save on parking fees! When he got into my house, I offered him to make himself a drink and he did. He made a can of coke appear from inside his shoe! But after he drank it, he says it tasted like feet. When I asked him how he gets his money to afford a Porsche and he lets me in on his secret. He told me that he had made a huge discovery! He told me that aside from a profitable tanning-lotion business that he just bought; most of his income mainly comes from driving his car backward into ERP gantries… And thus money is added to his cashcard instead of being deducted! Such a simple theory yet nobody discovered! He also mentioned that he is able to convince unsuspecting taxi drivers to drive backward so that at the end of the journey, the taxi driver owes him money instead. He told me not share this secret with anyone, so I won’t be sharing it with you. I’ll just give you a hint; it’s got something to do with “ERP” and “Taxi meters!” go figure! Anyway we had worked out an incredible act for “Just Kiki Kidding!” You won’t want to miss it! Tickets are going fast! So if you haven’t grab your tickets, DO SO NOW!!

Day 20 - How did this picture get here?!

We didn’t rehearse today, but instead we went for costume fitting. While I was changing, Daryl secretly took a picture of me! I’ve only found out about this when he sent it to me later in the evening. I wanted to get rid of this picture because I thought I look fat in it, but somehow, mysteriously, someone uploaded it to this blog post. I tried to delete it but somehow I can’t. Please keep it to yourself. Please DO NOT circulate this picture! DO NOT “right click” and “save target as”, then select a folder and a name to save it. eg. “Mr Hunky Kiki Tay” etc. Do not send it to all your friends on MSN messenger. Also, DO NOT click on the “attach file” on your e-mail editor and select the filename you previously saved the picture as, click on “attach” to attach the file to send it to everyone on your contact list. Also, please DON’T print out this picture from this hi-res link and paste it all over your wall or the wall of your workplace… I am a very shy person, very modest and humble... I do not want all the attention. I hope you can respect that. If you need more instructions or you have problem trying to send it to all you friends, do let me know. I’ll try to help you with it although I strongly disapprove of it…

Day 19 - "V" Short Film!!

While working on our production, we never stop having fun! Check out the short film we made! It's called "V" Short Film. You must be wondering what the "V" stands for... watch it and you'll soon find out! Enjoy!

Day 18 - Amazing Moments!!

Today I got to meet Francis Ang, the legendary guru of magic! I was surprised how young and friendly he was. He greeted me with a smile and offered me a glass of coke. When I told him I don’t drink coke, he magically made a pass and the glass of coke magically becomes a glass of coke light! I was so amazed and at the same time slightly disturbed by the way he made a pass on me. I drank the coke light and it tasted great! Just like coke, only lighter! Zero calories! I felt like I lost some weight just by drinking it! He then pointed to a plant beside his office table and about a dozen oranges magically bloomed from the plant! “How about some orange juice?” he asked. I was blown away!! That was the most incredible thing I’ve seen since Mrs. Naidu’s sari broke! I immediately asked if he could help me and he agreed. We talked for about an hour, and he helped me worked out the many ideas that I had. I won’t share with you what we worked on as it will be a surprise when you come to watch the show LIVE! Just a hint, it’s got something to do with water!

Day 17 - The Great Guru of Magic - Francis Ang!

Lately I’ve been quite frustrated with some of my magic. There are some tricks/illusions I wanted to accomplish but just can’t find the best method/spells to get it right. My uncle’s friend’s brother’s girlfriend’s sister’s tuition teacher’s gynaecologist told me that there is this great young Magic Guru named ‘Francis Ang’ that could help me. I’ve heard of his name before but have never met him. I’ve decided to go on an adventure to great distances to find this great Guru of Magic! I tried everything I could to track him down, I did a search on the internet, called all my friends and even looked under my carpet, but had no leads at all, when I was about to give up, one of my friend called me… He called me a quitter... I was so upset that I became even more determined to track down this ‘Francis Ang’ guy. After a few more calls I finally managed to get Francis’ number from my friend Georgie. I called the number that Georgie gave me and Francis’ assistant picked up the phone. I asked him where I could find Francis and he told me that Francis is in Meditation! I looked up my street directory but can’t find Meditation… it must be near Sembawang or something. I shouldn’t have hung up the phone so soon. I called back again and managed to speak to him. He had agreed to meet me tomorrow! I am so excited! I will update you on our meeting tomorrow!

Day 16 - Flame of Asia - Danny Koh!

I was walking down the street today and I saw my friend Danny Koh! We haven’t met in years and it was great bumping into him! We sat down and had a long talk, before the police came and told us not to sit in the middle of a busy road. We reluctantly shifted. Anyway, we sat down at a café and had a good chat. He told me that he had sold his multi-million-dollar tanning lotion business and is now semi-retired. He now has more time to work on his passion for fire art. When I asked him what he meant, he took out a lighter and swallowed it. He then opened his mouth and breathes of fire kept pouring out from his mouth! I was shocked and also blacken by the soot! That was an amazing act! I immediately asked if he is willing to guest star in my show and he agreed! That will be something worth looking forward to in my show! Do not miss it! Also, do not sit in the first few row! “Just Kiki Kidding!” 29th June 2008 @ The Jubilee Hall, Raffles Hotel. Find out more here or purchase tickets here!

Day 15 - New Reasons To Buy Tickets!

Recently, ticket sales have been going slow… In my desperate effort to sell more tickets, I’m adopting a new “violent marketing” technique. It’s a new kind of marketing approach I’ve created whereby if you don’t buy tickets, I will beat you! Remember, I am the student of Myojomi Dojo! Anyway, this method has proven effective so far. I’ve beaten up 3 of my friends and they have all bought tickets after that. So please buy tickets soon to avoid a beating! I will send you more information when I’m out of the hospital. (I am a victim of the “stop forcing me or I beat you!” method) I’ve also been thinking about adopting other methods of marketing, like the “don’t friend you” method or the “I tell teacher” approach… It has worked for me during my earlier days, I wonder if it will still work now.